Stuff and Then Throw Up!!

I should've been at my study table now, with a thousand page math textbook, trying my hardest to concentrate on the bleak problems that crowd each of the five or six pages that I must be done with by the end of the evening. But, seriously, its too monotonous to not drift into a dream after I've scribbled the solutions to every few sums. I've somehow managed to respectfully complete a chapter that bored me for three days on end. Now, since I was positive that I wouldn't be able to keep myself awake with math anymore, I laid out my other options. Well, there was chemistry, which definitely has to be mugged up because if I venture to understand anything it will surely be impossible to answer most questions in the exam( these questions would require only the statement of  facts). Or I could try English, which again demanded the rote learning of the answers copied down in our notebooks. Economics permits so little brain activity that it would require neither mugging up nor any understanding. That leaves me with physics. Physics, now, happens to be the most interesting subject to me. At least I get to read books that give me a clear picture of the concepts and most importantly a chance to think in my own way. It feels good to be able to think out a really puzzling problem all by myself.

I feel grateful to my mother for having persuaded me to try and study on my own as far as I could. Had I entangled myself with tuition routines, I would have been in the dark about so many things that I find myself fortunate to have been able to comprehend and lock up in my vault of knowledge because the only doubt tuition teachers or most school teachers seem to be capable of clarifying is "Would you please repeat what you explained?" You utter anything else and your doomed to listen to them rave on about how stupid students like you are the root causes of their grey hair,etc.etc....

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam believed in dreaming big and I think everybody must give it a try.

Abyss

The devil sucked the life out of her. As the days dragged on, the stronger it seemed to get. Her hair grew more askew and her laugh all the more hysterical. Her voice was louder when she spoke and her mind took turns only towards the negative.
There were people around her but they were akin to trees. They could at most listen. They breathed the air she gave them but couldn't give her back her breath....................

Transience

Everything about life changes.It is like the shape of clouds. You sit down and watch it for a while and by the time you've built up an imaginary story, you have to weave another one. But who has got the time to sit and watch clouds any more? Those leisurely days of coming back from school and rushing out to play on the streets have long been buried.

Fours years isn't long enough to change a person if he is 25 but when you're a teenager, I suppose, a complete alteration in personality is quite normal. But it feels weird, as if I'm talking to someone else. I don't feel like I can manage to treat him/her the way I used to before. The other day I had a chat, over the phone, with  a boy who I haven't seen for almost four years. His voice had become all manly and he talked so seriously and sensibly. There wasn't a hint of his former self in his manner. Even his language was reformed. It was kind of creepy!

In a span of twenty years all my uncles and aunts and my parents too would have grown old. They would look different, talk differently, do things that they never did before. I wonder how it would be then. Fifteen years later, my now innocent four year old cousin would be all grown up and carrying teenage airs. I wonder how I would seem to others then. Would I not be a world different from who I am today? Am I not as different from the five year old me as the sea differs from the cloud?When I was a "junior" at school, I used to look up to my seniors as though they were an ultimate authority. Do my juniors now see me so?

I guess there never is an end to wondering at these things. I am but a river and life is the landscape around me.

December is Here!

This is very silly but, for no reason, my friends and I were keeping a countdown to 1st December. The moment I woke up on the first morning of December, a sort of joyous wind gushed through my heart. I still can't tell why. It was quite an unnatural feeling. I'm hoping I will come around to understanding the reason by and by.....................................