All this while I've been sitting and thinking of so many things , but the moment I sit down to write them they are gone ! I don't know and I don't care . I just feel free and very confident , although I haven't really done anything in my life as yet . I just feel an uncanny "happy" . Happy that I am out of school - well , not officially - but all the same , I will surely be . Isn't it outrageous that I'm just one month out of school and I barely remember any of those monstrous physics theories or those chemical reactions that glare out of the text book but don't really have much to say ? Why do people have to cram all those theories that don't make any sense to a highschooler ? Even so , I haven't done anything in my life yet . So , I don't get to pass judgements on such stuff - to others .
To myself - I can't help them . This is my diary . I know that a diary is meant for writing secret things to get them off one's mind and is locked away from everyone else . But , I tried it and realized that I couldn't just write it . I had to say it to someone . Some people talk to the diary . That didn't work for me either . I had to talk to real people . People physically around me would talk back and ask questions and contradict everything I say because things I blurted would be truly said by the "happy" bubble . That is why I blog and you read .
Obviously , reading somebody's thoughts - they are my thoughts exactly when I'm sitting idle , which I have been doing quite a bit lately - makes more sense if you can imagine the person , the voice . You don't have to be interested though . It doesn't matter . This is my diary .
Speaking of idleness , I have been reading Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray . It is definitely the most intriguing piece of literature that I have had the good fortune of reading so far .
"There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book . Books are well written or badly written . That is all ."
-- Oscar Wilde in The Picture of Dorian Gray ( preface ) .
Influence - they are like those moral or immoral books . The other day I was watching one of the knockout rounds of The Voice , season 4 . Adam Levine chose the subtle one while her opponent had blown away everybody with her amazing range , control and what not . Made me think - maybe the world wasn't made for only the big and the bad after all .
Anyway , my big fat bubble of "happy" is just getting bigger and bigger . Or , maybe , it isn't . Maybe , any of this doesn't make sense . So what , my "happy bubble" is happy and that is all that matters to me right now .
To myself - I can't help them . This is my diary . I know that a diary is meant for writing secret things to get them off one's mind and is locked away from everyone else . But , I tried it and realized that I couldn't just write it . I had to say it to someone . Some people talk to the diary . That didn't work for me either . I had to talk to real people . People physically around me would talk back and ask questions and contradict everything I say because things I blurted would be truly said by the "happy" bubble . That is why I blog and you read .
Obviously , reading somebody's thoughts - they are my thoughts exactly when I'm sitting idle , which I have been doing quite a bit lately - makes more sense if you can imagine the person , the voice . You don't have to be interested though . It doesn't matter . This is my diary .
Speaking of idleness , I have been reading Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray . It is definitely the most intriguing piece of literature that I have had the good fortune of reading so far .
"There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book . Books are well written or badly written . That is all ."
-- Oscar Wilde in The Picture of Dorian Gray ( preface ) .
Influence - they are like those moral or immoral books . The other day I was watching one of the knockout rounds of The Voice , season 4 . Adam Levine chose the subtle one while her opponent had blown away everybody with her amazing range , control and what not . Made me think - maybe the world wasn't made for only the big and the bad after all .
Anyway , my big fat bubble of "happy" is just getting bigger and bigger . Or , maybe , it isn't . Maybe , any of this doesn't make sense . So what , my "happy bubble" is happy and that is all that matters to me right now .
totally incoherent!
ReplyDeleteyou surely are happy!